What makes you mad?

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger. You must put away every kind of bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and evil, slanderous talk. Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. (Ephesians 4:26, 31-32)

I get mad when things don’t go the way I think they should go. I get mad when a wrench gets thrown into the works. I get mad when somebody does me wrong.

I found this story about anger that I could relate to, and I’d like to share it with you.

Molly and Mort have been married since Monday. For months they have been planning a honeymoon tour of Kansas. On Tuesday they got as far as Indianapolis. They spent the night in the Ramada Inn, and were set to make it to Topeka by nightfall on Wednesday. Molly has heard so much about Topeka. She is sure this is going to be a perfectly wonderful beginning to a storybook honeymoon. But by now, Mort, returning to the room, has a sheepish look on his face.

“What’s up?” Molly asks. “Are we ready to go?” “I’m awfully sorry,” says Mort. “For safe keeping I set the keys to the rental car just inside the trunk while I loaded it. And you know when I next remembered they were there? It was a split second before I heard the trunk lid snap shut as firm and final as anything.” To hide his embarrassment, interrupt the line of vision between their eyes, and to protect him from the emotion that he feels rising like a mighty tide in his bride, he approaches her for a kiss.

Molly is not in the mood for a kiss, and becomes less so when they discover that the locksmith isn’t available until 4:00 pm. The hope of Topeka by nightfall is dead. Molly is mad. You could say she is frustrated; the circumstances are contrary to her wishes. You could say she is disappointed: she was expecting something wonderful and now sees that it won’t happen. But her emotion is more than irritation and disappointment. It is anger. In addition to seeing her circumstances as bad, she sees that it is somebody’s fault.

So what makes you mad? Change a few details in this story, and I can say that I’ve felt exactly the same way that Molly feels, especially towards my husband, several times just in the last week!

There are, of course, other things that make me mad. I get mad about how global warming and the influx of technology are destroying native culture in Alaska. I get mad that because of a continually faltering economy, many of my friends and neighbors still don’t have jobs. I get mad that we can’t protect each other from disease and earthquakes and grief. I see terrible things happening and I wonder who is to blame, and who is going to make it right.

It’s not good to be an angry person. I recently discovered a new word – irascible – the definition of which is being an angry sort of person, marked by hot temper and easily provoked. Sometimes, when I consider all the things I have to be mad about, I feel like that is the direction I may be headed.

So what do I do with my anger? Is it ok to be angry sometimes? What on earth is human anger good for?

Biologists point out that anger is very useful as a signal to the offender. Anger is a part of our original human nature, just as love is. It is not necessarily sinful. Even God gets angry when we sin – his anger is not directed at us, but what we do. And Jesus got angry as well. Jesus got angry at those who obstructed compassion, and eventually plotted against his life. Because Jesus loved us so much, his anger came from love. But Jesus also loved the plotters. With the first sign of true repentance his eye for their goodness overwhelmed his eye for their sin. Remember the repentant thief on the cross next to Jesus? Jesus immediately forgave him, promising him, “Today you will be with me in paradise.”

Paul tells the Ephesians that it’s ok to be angry, but not to sin. Anger turns to sin if it becomes your normal mode of operation – if you become truly irascible. When he says, “Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice,” I don’t think he is saying that we should never be angry, but that we should not always be angry.

Remember how God treated those Israelites who grumbled and complained in the wilderness for 40 years? God was mad at them again and again. And then God forgave them, and helped them out of the mess they’d gotten themselves into again and again. God’s anger at them came from God’s love for them.

We all get mad at something, sometime. When we do, we can remember Paul’s words, and God’s love. We can take the initiative of saying a kind word, telling a joke on ourselves, offering a compromise or making a gesture of reconciliation. A little “I’m sorry” goes a long way. We can say a little prayer. When we do this, we will see something wonderful happen. Others will follow our lead, and we will bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit.